You watch me on your tv.
Say that my job is easy.
Say I am not athletic.
You think my sport's pathetic.

But you can't judge me 'till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes.

So I don't get all the ladies.
And my clothes are from the 80's
I am known throughout the valleys.
As the prophet of alleys.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rising gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling... The bowling... God.

Got a ball that's smooth and all black.
I keep it in my lucky ball-sac.
I get a feeling in my soul.
As I finger every hole.

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rising gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling... The bowling...

Not a single men will try, to beat almighty Malakai.
All that challenge me are slain.
Come on, f---ers pick a lane.
Marshall Home and Gary Dickens, get in line for your a** kickins'.
John Patracky and Norton Duke, your so lame it makes me puke.
Oh I'm on the pro-bowl sector.
There's to Don his wrist protector.
Not that p***y Nelson Burton, tells me that his wrist is hurtin'.
Hey Mark Walfey, Earl the Pearl, are ya' scared to give the ball a hurl?
How bout' Nickey Webber and his son Pete? I'll turn the motha fuckas to cream of wheat!

And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling god.
The smell of rising gets my high.
Kiss those f---in' pins goodbye!
I am mighty Malakai, the bowling... Bowlin... Ohhhhh!
The bowling god!!
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Bowling Song Lyrics

Stephen Lynch – Bowling Song Lyrics