Ever since first man has walked this earth I have been here
To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear
I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high
I go by many names, but there is one you can't deny

My name is Satan!

Hi everybody! Let me tell you a little bit about myself!

My friends all call me Old Scratch and I am a Capricorn
My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn
I've got little devil horns and a little goatee
Little devil eyes to help a little devil see
And little cloven hooves that make it kind of hard to ski

I'm Satan!

My real name is Beelzebub, but you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox News and then go club some baby seals
Then I'll take a bubble bath and drink a zinfandel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I'll make a toast to me, hey, here's to my health!

My name is Satan!

To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
And now he makes his living as a singing comedian
I'm in every Zeppelin album; I'm in all Rush Limbaugh's rants
I'm the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance
And if I wanna eat your soul I'll just throw it on the griddle
I don't need to make a deal, I don't need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels, I don't care if he can fiddle

I'm Satan!

"Devil went down to Georgia; he was looking for a soul to steal"
Which is fucking bullshit because I would not be caught dead in Georgia
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Beelz Lyrics

Stephen Lynch – Beelz Lyrics