When the game of life makes you feel like quittin',
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten
Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin,
You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten.

There's no crime that you'll be commitin'
I know the law, you can kill a kitten.
If you need yarn for that scarf you're knittin'
Youll get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine, or break it's spine,
Crush it with your shoe, as long as you...
Kill a kitten
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/stephen+lynch/kill+a+kitten_20227818.html ]
If the one you love isn't quite as smitten,
She'll like you better when you kill a kitten
To quote the bible, cause that's where it's written
If yee loveth Jesus, yee must kill a kitten

Flush it down the can, hit it with your van,
Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine
Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake
Stick some TNT up it's cat booty
Do what you must do, as long as you...
Kill a kitten

Killing kittens isn't easy,
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
And kill a puppydog instead!
Kill a kitten, kill a kitten, for a mitten
Kill a kitten (4x)
Kill....