If I had a hammer, I'd build a house for two
And if I had a sailing ship, I'd take a trip with you
If I had a poets hand, I'd write a verse for thee
And if I had a painters touch, On canvas you would be

But I don't have a hammer
And I don't have a ship
So I can't build a house
And we can't take a trip
And I'll never be a poet
Nor have the painters grace
So I'll never write you're verse
Nor immortalize your face

And also, I have herpes
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Love Song Lyrics

Stephen Lynch – Love Song Lyrics