All the seats at the Sunday masses filled with the masses mass of asses,
Classes pass fast as molasses, ceremonial reading glasses.
Read a little bit of Leviticus,
All the kids are a little too little for this,

All the parents nod in agreement "I think I can vaguely see what He meant."
It's too early in the morning, glory, to read another allegory story,
The father reads a little bit farther
To assure the assured that they need not bother when God,

In verse 45,
Said that slaves are OK to buy,
He meant that people from the star tall have "slaves" within their hearts.
Things that we have sold or bought,

That are forced to pick our moral cotton.
God calls us to set these free,
Free our hearts of slavery
And then as God goes on to explain the legalistic of buying and selling slaves,

Uh, he, the bible's sorta like, uh, there's like typos, didn't, in the back,
I sit and I nod to the beats that are bumping from my iPod,
My God, they're starting to pray,
Over the music I can hear them say

"Dear God, dear Lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard of a sword,
Dear good all seeing being my way or the highway,
Yahweh the blue balls, anti masturbator,
The great all loving fagot hater,

I'd like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white,
And though this is your day of rest I come to you with one request,
There's so much pain beyond this steeple,
Wars and drugs and homeless people,

Sadness where there should be joy,
Hate and rape and soulja boy,
A world in darkness needs your light
So I'm sure your schedule's pretty tight

But my dog just had surgery,
If you could fix that first, Jesus"
Deborah fingers in a holy place, hail mary full of grace
Obama could you pass some hope to the Pope

Who knows a couple of dudes who wanna elope,
The pope said nope so the bros must cope,
The bros can grope but the bros cant cope,
They've been in love and they've been
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Rant Lyrics

Bo Burnham – Rant Lyrics