Hello patient 24602 Hey what's up? How are you feeling? I'm alright Has the treatment been working? No, not really What are your remaining symptoms? I hate myself, I'm not good with other people, I don't know if I'm real or not Blah, blah, blah, you're such a fucking pussy Real mature, real fucking mature, conscience I'm just messing around Bo, your problem is simple, your emotion and logic are at war Your creativity and analysis are at war and most simply, your left and right brain are at war To fix the problem we must separate them from each other Splitting your neurological functions in 5... 4... 3.. 2.. 1 This may hurt a bit, 0 Isolation complete This is Bos left brain, objective, logical, cold, analytical Aware of patterns aware of trends he's efficient, and a prick This is Bos right brain subjective, creative, sensory Aware of feelings, aware of people, he's emotional, and an idiot Okay boys play nice
I am the left brain, I am the left brain I work really hard until my inevitable death brain You got a job you better do it right in the right way with the left brains might
I get happy when I smell cookies (haha cookies!) And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3 Cause I am the right brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love.. Or put my penis in
Here comes a female, here comes a female Puff your chest up take your phone out and check your email Or evolutionary purpose is to repopulate So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate
Holy fuck I think she might be the one, there's something about her, I just can't describe it Boobs I am the earth, she is the glorious sun I want her to trust me and I want her to sit on my fucking face! Alright now right brain you're being insane No left brain, I'm just being alive You should try it, you might like it
I worked hard to give him everything he cared about You were worried about the things he was scared about I'm calm and collective when you act wild I am the adult you are child
You think you're the right one every time You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all Half of his problems were supposed to be mine But you wanted everything I hope that you're happy because he's sure not
Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry just let me run this again, you're a giant pussy
Really name calling? Really name calling?
I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts alright, the fact is you're a gigantic pussy
I'm the pussy? Really? Well at least I don't play with toys still
Rubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spacial rethink skills.. Sharp
Left brain plays with toys! Haha, fucking, toy player
Well at least I did my fucking job, I kept him working, I kept him productive You were supposed to look after him You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling! If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him You did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he fucking hates you!
Right brain I'm sorry, okay?
No you're not
Look, maybe there's something we can do together
Take the best parts of both of us and put them together
It would let you let your feelings out, It would let me analyze
It's something that George Carlin did, It's something Steve Martin did It's something special we can both perform, do you know what it is?
Oral s** on ourselves, we could suck each others dicks because no one is gonna suck our dicks for us!