Here we go downtown (Garbled)... All around You can't stop (garbled)
You just won the lottery That's ka-blamo! You kissed Shannon Doherty That's ka-blamo! You joined a sorority That's ka-blamo! You lied about the lottery Not ka-blamo!
You met Fred Segal at a debutante's ball You gave him your number, he gave you a call He told you to meet him at the corner at eight You met him at nine, that's right, you were late
You stupid idiot, you don't know what you missed Fred Segal's a star, and you called this His pimping-ass cooling-ass Mack-ass building With the ivy on the walls but not around the lettering
You dissed Fred Segal, and everybody knows (Ha ha ha ha ha) You're not ka-blamo.
The doc fixed your arteries That's ka-blamo! Your mouthwash is gargly That's ka-blamo! Your water is watery That's ka-blamo! I majored in pottery Not kablamo.
You're chilling with your dudes and then they stab you in the face On the way to the hospital you're bleeding all over the place Your leg is amputated 'cause you got gangrene And then you get cancer and you die in your teens
But then this really pretty girl who you always really liked Shows up to your funeral and that's a real mixed blessing.
Your jello is wobbly That's ka-blamo! You met Gilbert God-fer-y That's ka-blamo! You're Harlem Globetrotter-y That's ka-blamo! You watch the disorderlies Not ka-blamo!
When you're mining for coal and you forget what coal is And you're sure to be fired, because that's your job! When a mole's in your ass and you wonder where the mole is You're screwed man, a mole is in your ass.
The meaning of life is revealed to you And all of the drinks are old English brew Your whim is the word of the people on earth But the whole "mole in the ass" thing is haunting you.
When your fluids are bodily That's ka-blammy What happened to ka-blamo? I mean ka-blamo! Good, that's better. That's ka-blammy! Wait, I'm confused. We said ka-blamo!