I bought a gerbil at the petting zoo
If Richard Gere can do it I can too
I'd get undressed I'd start to lube
I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube

Wondering just how he'll feel
Will he like it better than his little wheel
Careful now he's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me

Go gerbil go
Burrow harder burrow deeper
Be my little chimney sweeper
One thing I forgot about

How am I supposed to get you out
So now my gerbil's on easy street
It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
The situation is beyond my control

Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole
I try crowbars, I try wires
I almost had him with a pair of pliers
I try cheese but he's not biting

I wish this wasn't so exciting
Go gerbil go
Jesus I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry fu-grr

I think I am getting ill
Suddenly he's very, very still
Now its too late my gerbil died
I guess I have committed gerbicide

Here's some advice it's very clear-cut
If you love your gerbil, don't stick him up your butt
Don't stick him up your butt
Little furry gerbil in your booty hole

Don't stick him up
And ya put him in your ass
And he won't come out
(growling skeet)

Yeah
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Gerbil Lyrics