Intro: Some crazy shit... White Bob up in this motherfucker like never before. I'm gonna tell it like it is for you motherfuckers... alright.
Now let me tell you a little story that happened the other day,
I went in my grandma's room she told me to go away
I said listen grandma, I didn't say a word to you,
You've taken too many prescription drugs and you haven't a clue
She said White Bob listen to me carefully,
Don't lecture me on drugs boy, you're as high as a tree
I wouldn't mind, but it's the simple fact,
I've heard you've been giving cannabis to my cat
Look he takes the occasional puff, but he doesn't inhale,
I'm calling the police she said to take you to jail
It was at this point I left my grandma's room,
Kinda worried about the crazy shit she might do
Hey grandma... "yeah?" don't be a snitch "huh?"
Don't dob me in "why?" cos i'm you're grandson... "yeah some grandson!"
Hey grandma... "yeah?" don't grass me up "what?"
Don't phone the police "why?" cos I love you...
"Yeah you're just saying that..."
Back in my own room and I had the horn,
Opened the dvd cabinet and got out the porn
It had been a stressful morning and my face was a frown,
Needed a greasy wank just to calm me down
Virtual sex with Jenna Jameson got my dick hard quick,
Just imagining what that bitch could do to my dick
I was wanking in a total state of ecstacy,
But remembered the curtain was open... someone might see
I went to the window, dick still in my hand,
Fuck, the police were outside they bought a transit van
My grandma was with them, she pointed up at me,
She said thats him there, and I think he's holding his willy
Hey grandma "yes?" why you being a snitch? I'm here holding my dick... that's pretty sick "ooh that's disgusting"
Hey grandma "yes?" why'd you make that call? you played me like a fool, I thought we was cool (yes I did)
I couldn't believe my grandma had been such a snitch,
I put my cock back in my pants and made a run for it
Went out the back heading for the garden gate,
But the police had me surrounded, they said you're nicked mate
I said I never gave any wacky backy to her cat,
They said there's the indecent exposure, we'll do you for that
Into the van I went much to my grandma's delight
She said let's see how you like it in a prison cell for the night