[Parnell] We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
[Parnell] So, Natalie, what's the day in life of Natalie Portman like?
[Portman] Do you really want to know?
[Parnell] Yes, tell us
[Portman] I don't sleep motherfucker Off that yak and Durban Doing 120 getting head while I'm swerving
[Seth Meyers] Damn Natalie you a crazy chick
[Portman] Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick I bust in dudes mouth like gushers motherfucker Roll up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
(What you want Natalie)
[Portman] To drink and fight
(what you need Natalie)
[Portman] To fuck all night
Don't test when I'm crazy on that airplane glue Put my foot down your throat Till you shit in my shoe Leave you screaming Pay for my dry cleaning Fuck your man It's my name that he's screaming
[Parnell] I'm sorry Natalie, but are we to believe you condone driving while intoxicated?
[Portman] I never said I was a role model.
[Parnell] What about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
[Portman] All the kids looking up to me can suck my dick It's Portman mother fucker Drink till I'm sick Slit your throat And poor nitrous down the hole Watch you laugh and cry While I laugh you die And all the dudes You know I'm talking to you (we love you Natalie) I wanna fuck you too P is for Portman P is for pussy! I'll kill your fucking dog for fun so don't push me
[Parnell] Well, Natalie I'm surprised. All this from a Harvard graduate.
[Portman] Well there's a lot you may not know about me.
[Parnell] Really? Such as?
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed every day I cheated every test And snorted all the yay I gotta a def posse And you gotta buncha dudes I sit right down on your face and take a shit
[Andy Samberg] Natalie you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!) And I always pay for your dry cleaning When my shit gets in your shoe (What!?) As for the drug use Well I can vouch for that My dick is scared of you Girl
[Parnell] Okie-doke. One final question, If you steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood, Who would it