Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends? It seems like it always works like that You'll meet a queen; the girl of your dreams And she'll have a friend that's really fat But you decide to take a chance; this could be a great romance If only she could just get rid of her "She's my cousin from the East and I know that she's a beast" And I don't think that this is gonna work
So you take them both out while you try to figure out "How can I dump the pig?" You've spent sixty bucks, but things are looking up She just said she wants to make it big Now the problem is this, every time we hug and kiss Her friend says, "I want to go home!" And we want her to, but we don't know what to do And that's why it's time for this song
Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends? It seems like it always works like that Oh, you'll meet a queen; the girl of your dreams, And she'll have a friend that's really, really fat! Every time you make your play, you'll find out there ain't no way To make love to beauty and the beast Why do the best lookin' girls have these real ugly friends? Does this only happen to me?
Now I'm so hot I could smother, 'cause they both come home to Mother Does this only happen to me?