Snow is falling, spreading Christmas cheers Uncle Wally's had one too many beers Mom and Dad have put aside their strife She'll bring her new partner, he'll bring his fourth wife
A dysfunctional family Christmas, the craziest time of year We'll go broke and snort some coke as the holiday grows near Dysfunctional family Christmas, it's happening everywhere Visiting all your relatives and pretending that you care
Ho ho ho, hee hee hee, let's go steal us a Christmas tree Deck the halls, fa la la, here comes my cousin in her Wonder bra (yee ha! )
Dysfunctional family Christmas, traveling through the snow This year's mine and next year's yours, bored to death 'til it's time to go Dysfunctional family Christmas, caroling all the way Take my advice, just try and make nice It'll soon be another day
Who remembers Jesus anyway? Buy more crap, give your wife a slap, have a happy holiday!
Dysfunctional family Christmas, it only comes once a year So suck it up and have another cup of that high-test Christmas cheer