And here we are at the Mudd Club, y'all
I hope you enjoy yourself, 'cause the show is about to begin
Hey, they're really dancin', they're on auto-destruct
On the floor, on the pipe, bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really tearin' it up
On the side, in the back by the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy, you can take it from me
I should know 'cause I go every time I'm in town
If you never tried it lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place to unfasten yerself (Mudd Club)
All the way downtown (Mudd Club)
They ain't messin' around (Mudd Club)
Just turn to the left and look around because it's there somewhere
If you ain't found it, better hurry up
The folks down there's on auto-destruct and so can you be too
The fact of the matter is it's made for you
Try it on a Saturday about four o'clock in the mornin' or even a Monday at midnight
When there's just a few of them Fabulous Poodles doin' the Peppermint Twist for real
In a black sack dress with nine inch heels
And then a guy with a blue Mohawk comes in, in serious leather
And all the rest of whom for which to whensonever of partially indeterminate bio-chemical degradation
Seek the path to the sudsy yellow nozzle of their foaming nocturnal parametric digital whole-wheat inter-faith
Geo-thermal terpsichorean ejectamenta
In serious leather, in serious chains
Then they work the wall, they work the pipe, they work the floor and they work the wall some more
In serious leather, serious chains, serious clothing
And when they come downtown from the ruins of Studio 54
To twist and frugg in an arrogant gesture to the best of what the 20th Century has to offer
Al Malkin is down there right now looking for a virgin with nice breath
Why, maybe it's you, and you don't even know it

Hey, they're really dancin', they're on auto-destruct
On the floor, on the pipe bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really tearin' it up
On the side, in the back by the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy you can take it from me
I should know 'cause I go every time I'm in town
If you never tried it lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place to unfasten yerself

While you work the wall, work the floor; work the pipe in serious pain
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Mudd Club Lyrics

Frank Zappa – Mudd Club Lyrics