The mystery man came over And he said I'm outta sight! He said for a nominal service charge I could reach nirvana tonight If I was ready, willing and able To pay him his regular fee He would drop all the rest of His pressing affairs and devote His attention to me
But I said look here brother Who you jiving with that cosmik debris? Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris? Look here brother, don't waste your time on me
The mystery man got nervous And he fidget around a bit He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe And he whipped out a shaving kit Now I thought it was a razor And a can of foaming goo But he told me right then when the top popped open There was nothin' his box won't do With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo He said you might not believe this, little fella But it'll cure your asthma too
And I said look here brother Who you jiving with that cosmik debris? Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway? Look here brother, don't waste your time on me (don't waste your time)
I've got troubles of my own, I said And you can't help me out So, take your meditations and your preparations And ram it up your snout! But I got the crystal ball, he said And held it to the ligh So I snatched it, all away from him And I showed him how to do it right
I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head So I looked like I was deep I said some mumbo-jumbo, then I told him he was going to sleep I robbed his rings and pocketwatch And everything else I found I had that sucker hypnotized He couldn't even make a sound I proceeded to tell him his future, then As long as he was hanging around I said the price of meat has just gone up And your old lady has just gone down!
And I said look here brother-who you Jiving with that cosmik debris? Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho? Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher? So, don't waste your time on me Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me