Peter: They will clean up all your talkin' in a manner such as this;
Brian: They will make you take a tinkle when you wanna take a piss
Stewie: And they'll make you call fellatio a trouser-friendly kiss!
Peter, Brian, Stewie: It's the plain situation;
There's no negotiation,
With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

Brian: They're as stuffy as the stuffiest of the special interest groups;
Peter: Make a joke about your bowels and they'll order in the troops;
Stewie: Any baby with a brain could tell them everybody poops!
Peter, Brian, Stewie: Take a tip, take a lesson;
You'll never win by messin',
Peter: With the fellas at the freakin' FCC!

Peter: And if you find yourself with some young sexy thing,
You're gonna have to do her with your ding-a-ling!
('Cuz you can't say penis).

Peter: So they sent this little warning, they're prepared to do their worst;
Brian: And they stuck it in your mailbox, hoping you could be coerced;
Stewie: I can think of quite another place they should have stuck it first!
Peter, Brian, Stewie: They may just be neurotic,
Or possibly psychotic;
THEY'RE THE FELLAS AT THE FREAKIN' FCC!
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The Freakin' FCC Lyrics

Family Guy – The Freakin' FCC Lyrics