Blattaria! war princess! I am here with my new best friends
The human beings who are now my army!
And together, we shall defeat you! captain spectacular!
Right here, ziltoid!
Yes. please, provide me with the weapon
(don't do it captain, don't do it!)
Ha! fooled you, poopypants!
What?! but- butbutbut ziltoid!
Yes. I have duped the humans into thinking I am on their side!
Ziltoid, we had a deal! you signed a contract!
Yes, I signed it in pencil. with my left hand
I mean, you’re just so dumb, it- it hurts!
Ziltoid, how could you do this?
Oh please, do you actually think that
There’s anything in common between me and you, human?
There’s more you have in common with humans than you realize
Think back to your childhood! you must know how I know!
What are you blathering about?
Ziltoid, search your memories. don’t I look familiar to you?
Just tell me!
We have the same mother!
Turns out, captain spectacular… is ziltoid’s half-brother!
Will you losers get on with it?! what are you talking about over there?
I have something here from our mother!
and she wanted you to have it this is the universe’s ultimate coffee bean!
Woah! gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!
Ziltoid, you were always destined to be humanity’s last hope! now end this!
Wow, this is so heavy, and unbelievably cheesy!
oh well, planet smasher, I command the attack!
Woah, what the heck!
Ha ha ha! nice weapon!
Ziltoid, I see you have a soft spot
Well, let me show you how we play in my world! captain spectacular, you die!
All seemed to be lost
What ziltoid failed to realize is- the planet
smasher needed his own reasons to summon his ungodly power!
The pain of his brother dying pierces his withered heart!
Ugh, so lame!
As ziltoid kneels beside his fallen brother, as if in a dream, the song they’d sing together as children is all of a sudden on his lips
Memories… all alone with the memories
The war princess wasn’t about to go quietly
She grabbed out, got a hold of ziltoid
And in that moment they were both… gone!
Turns out the thing the planet smasher hated
The most was musicals! who saw that coming?!
They’re gone! we’re free! we’re free!! captain spectacular saved us!
And so did ziltoid!
Hip hip hooray!
So ziltoid, the war princess, and the poozers
Are jettisoned through that hairy wormhole
The planet smasher, off to wherever planet smashers go
The musicals worked! the humans, now left alone
Amongst themselves to celebrate wallowing
In the sacrifice of captain spectacular
Yet giddy in the joy of their survival
Awash with the promise of their brand new world
Voices raised together in celebratory blissful song
The earth sang as one- believe it, or not