You can have a Fall
And Winter of your own
Staying warm inside
Your Victorian home
But when the city's so hot
The winos burst into flames
When the Jesus freaks
Collapse with the weight of their claims
Marry young, Diana
I don't want to see you old and alone
And it's no fun, Diana
I don't want to see you
Rot in the home for aging spinsters
You should find someone
As loyal as a dog
Who will still love you
When you look like a frog
Someone to rock your chair
And bring you pink lemonade
Someone to peel you a grape
At one-hundred degrees in the shade
Marry young, Diana
I don't want to see you old and alone
And it's no fun, Diana
I don't want to see you
Rot in the home for aging spinsters