My conscience finally got to me,
Workin' sixty hours a week
Leavin' her alone, bored to death at home
So one day, I asked off early
I dropped that bottle of wine,
When I flipped on the light,
You can't imagine my
Surprise, they were havin' a real good time
Yeah, I nearly lost my mind,
When I saw the leather an' spikes around her neck,
An' he was handcuffed to my bed,
An' I thought he was my friend
Guess it was all lies: yeah, surprise!
The judge gave her all I had,
An' he did the same for my old friend
Yeah, his Lexus an' his house all went to his spouse,
So when I moved out, he just moved in
He went back to get his drawers at the place he lived before
Guess who answered the door?
Surprise, I hooked up with his ex-wife,
Who's prettier an' sweeter than mine.
Now we're livin' his XRI Jacuzzi bath
Yeah, we just sit back in them bubbles an' laugh,
While they're livin' in my run down shack
Yeah, serves 'em right: surprise
Surprise, surprise, yeah that trip to Mali sure was nice
Oh, in Vegas we rolled the dice
Now it's steak an' taters every night
Next weekend, yeah, we're headed off to Disneyland
Yeah, I knew he was rich but now,
Hell I can retire: surprise!
