All you washed up hoes tryin' to throw that P
You're just a big freak, you better not complain
When you hear these cocktails and you hear your name
If you a fake b***h, ain't no thing

I'll pick up the phone and call Janine
If I call Marie, I know for a fact
I'm gettin' f****d in my drop top Cadillac
I met this freak named Naomi

Straight d**k sucker worked me and my homies
She had a girlfriend, her name was Vicki
I pulled her to the side and let her suck my d**k
She was fine as f**k, but can't f**k with Tina

Tina, Tina, the sperm cleana
I took her to my house and told her strip
Baby got freaky-started doing the splits
I said, "b***h! Do what you want?
'Cause this true blue mack won't even front"

I f****d her with my finger, she tried to c**
P***y so tight, it wouldn't give me none
I'm Too Short baby couldn't be no punk
I'm trying to get freaky 'cause I love the funk

My d**k is big and her n***a had a little one
I didn't f**k her freaky a**, but it was still fun
I know you stop and wonder just what it is
It's the California lifestyle that I live

My name is Short, my game is long
I freak these hoes and sing these songs
I know this girl named Annette
Get her all alone and she'll suck your d**k

Hella freaky, won't say no for s**t
You and her all alone, n***a that's your b***h
I know another freak her name's Joanne
I always get the p***y 'cuz I know I can

Finest b***h around, ain't got no man
Every time she cross my mind I go f**k her again
She's like another b***h named Christine
B***h so dumb, I named her misdemeanor

'Cuz it had to be a crime to be that dumb
I took her to my house and she let me c** in her mouth
You know I did all that s**t
She got my number, if she beep me, I'm gonna call that b***h

And go dig in them guts like a gardener
If she starts screamin', I'm gonna f**k the b***h harder
'Cause these are the tales, the freaky tales
These are the tales I tell so well

You don't like my dirty rap you can go to hell
'Cuz Short Dogg's on the mike tellin' cocktails
I meet the groupies, hookers like Kathy
F*****g M. C. 's 'cause she's so nasty

See her backstage trying to throw that a**
She just like the freaks and she had to pass me that p***y
You can't stop the b***h
Let her roll on my rolls then I drop the b***h

My name is Short, my game is long
I freak these hoes and sing these songs
I know another girl named Stephanie
Do anything, she can to have s** with me

She really don't bring out the best in me
But I love her fine a** laying next to me
She's like another freak named Nicole
So damn sprung on my diamonds and gold

I took her to my house, she gave me the panties
I f****d her so good, she told her friend named Angie
Angie called me up about two weeks later
Talking some s**t about do me player

So I did her just like Tamara
Taking naked pictures with my Polaroid camera
Next they told a girl named Rocquelle
Got my skin all under her fingernails

She was diggin' in my back while I grind the s**t
That was way back now I can't find the b***h
But if I do, I'll probably do the same again
Break the b***h for everything 'cuz I came to pimp

I'm Too Short baby, I don't stop mackin'
I grab the microphone and I don't stop rappin'
You can bet your life as I spit these raps
I'll be f*****g em' up like that, b***h

I know another trick her name was Shery
I had to cut her loose 'cuz she wanted to get married
P***y so good and I do mean very
Sometimes it's shaved and sometimes it's hairy

I'm Short Dogg, ain't nothing nice
You ever make me mad and I'll f**k your wife
Have fun with your b***h and have her sprung on my d**k
I guess I'll pull it out and just c** on your b***h

Like my other little tramp named Erika
Anywhere I want to f**k that's where I f**k
'Cuz she's the freakiest b***h in America
Every time I get the p***y I just tear it up

'Cuz these are the tales the freaky tales
These are the tales that I tell so well
You don't like my dirty raps you can go to hell
'Cuz Short Dogg is on the mike telling cocktales
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Cocktails Lyrics