[Spoken:] OH! Hot, Hot damnit! Y'all pissing me off auent ya! Now ya gone dunit! EVERYBODY'S GETTING SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS! 123 GO!
This isn’t the same old Christmas story There’s no bb guns or egg shaped plants The mistletoe is hung way too low And I think we gave too much eggnog to gramps
Everybody’s being naughty; the nice list is pretty short and the elves are passed out drunk on the floor The Christmas carolers got a face full of snow as we kicked them in the ass and shut the door
Now I don’t think it’s going to be a happy holiday cause everything is all screwed up, and nobody wants to jingle all the way
Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas I’d rather get a homeless drunk to punch me in the junk Than getting stupid fucking socks for Christmas
All the children need to wash your mouth out with soap The only words out of their mouth are FUCK! Grandma she got ran over by a drunk driver In the Toy’s are Us Truck
Now Santa cant take to the sky Because all the reindeer got an F.U.I. And Mrs. Claus knitted so many socks That she’s jamming tiny needles in her eye
Now everyone wants to take But no one wants to give And some kid melted all of Frosty’s snow And the doctors don’t think he’s gonna live
Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas I’d rather get the butterfly effect on VHS Then get stupid fucking socks for Christmas
HO HO LET'S GO!
Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas Everybody’s getting socks for Christmas I’d rather wreck the halls till the whole place falls Than get some socks, Some stupid fucking socks NOBODY WANTS SOCK FOR CHRISTMAS!