Principal actors to the stage please,
Act One is about to begin in 8 seconds.
First you can't act, now you can't stop,
(What's my motivation?)
I used to like you a lot,
(I was the class nerd)
Exactly who I'm s'posed to be,
(I'm totally Strasberg)
You play a doctor on TV,
(What you're doing is SO brave)
Deep down you're dirty but you try,
(I'm a good person)
The truth would break you so you lie,
(I want my work to matter)
It's in the choices that you make,
(I want to inspire)
No talent, just fate.
I don't know where you begin,
I end, we start
They need, you love,
We all watch
The Actor Acting.
Good from far but far from good,
(All I have is my instinct)
You love to act, I wish you would,
(It's not acting, it's re-acting)
Act like you're not from out of space,
(When I'm on stage I feel alive)
You know ambition isn't grace,
(For me it's the craft)
Made of Sex, Maida Vale,
(Would I do better in New York)
You are the Alpha Male,
(I'm just too pretty for that role)
You are the good, you are the great,
(The words have power)
Now let me fill you with my hate.
D-d-d-d-Dame d-Dame d-Dame Judi Dench,
Ritchie, Ritchie, Ritchie.
In the future,
Everybody will be anonymous for fifteen minutes,
You are, we all are a test card,
The stars of CCTV,
We ARE the nature of the beast.