Im the man you thought Id never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
Lad called thingy for six whole years.
Yes, thats right, my names bob
The one who landed the pop stars job
The one you told, look dont touch
The kid who wouldnt amount to much.
Well, Im here and youre still there
With a fake sports car and receding hair.
Dodgy farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman who teaches art.
Married to the life, married to the school
I wanna sing and dance sir; now whos the fool?
Sing and dance, you thought I was barmy
Settle down thingy, join the army.
And who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want Ill have to miss
Sir is god, hes been given the right
To structure lives overnight.
Now I know lifes true path
Tanks and guns thatll be a laugh
No, not me Im a mega civilian
I wont lead my life riding pillion.
But thanks for the advice and Im sure itll do
For the negative dickheads just like you.
As for now Ive a different weapon
Stage and sceen is about to beckon.
And here I sit in first class
Bollocks sir, kiss my arse...