(Brooks Buford) W-F-you-K am 420 now interrupts your regular radio programming for broadcast of the One Duck County Demon game.
Chuck Janke (Brooks Buford): Hey pussies, and welcome to the first game of the new season. I'm Chuck Janke.
Wink Dinkerson (Danny Boone): And this is Wink Dinkerson. I tell ya, it was a rough year for our guys last season.
Cj: Sure was. Well, it started off good, but then just went to straight fecal matter thrown into a dc-10 engine, if ya know what I mean!
Wd: Yeah, some real turd action.
Cj: Yeah, a shit-twister, if you will!
Wd: Yeah, I heard Danny Boone had stomach surgery.
Cj: Sure did.
Wd: Apparently his liver fell out in his Warner Robbins home.
Cj: God, what a dick.
Cj: Yeah, Brooks Buford ended up in the er with a hole in his nose.
Wd: Yeah, and we all know what that was from.
Cj: We sure do. God, what an asshole.
Wd: Who does he think he is? Darryl Strawberry? Geeze louise.
Cj: Yeah, he's a little Robert Downey, Jr. Yeah, well, it looks like they're about to come out on the field now.
Wd: Well, folks, let's hope for a better season than the last. America -
Cj: Tell 'em Wink.
Wd: Heeeeeeeeeeeeere come the Demons!