Well when I was a kid I would take a trip Every Summer down to "Mississipp," to visit My Granny and 'er "Auntie Belluam World." I'd run barefooted all-day long, climbing Trees free as a song; One day I happened To catch myself a squirrel. Well I stuffed him down In an old shoe box, and punched a couple Holes in the top; When Sunday came I snuck em' In the Church. I sittin' way back on the very Last pew showin em' to my good buddy Hugh, When that squirrel got loose and went totally Buzzerk. Well what happened next is hard to tell; Some thought it was Heaven others thought It was Hell, but the fact that something was Among was plain to see. As the choir sang " I Surrender All", the Squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls, and Harv leaped to his feet and said something's got A hold on me yeeeooow!
The day the squirrel went buzzerk in the First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little Town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews And shoutin' "Hallelujah".
Well Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'. Some thought he had Religion others thought He had a demon, and Harv thought he had a Weed-eater loose in his fruit-of-the-looms. He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and the Squirrel ran out of his britchy-leg; unobserved To the otherside of the room. All the way down to the amen pew, where sat "Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been Watching all of the commotion with sufistic glee. But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garders and crossed her Thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said, "Lord have Mercy on me. " As that squirrel mad laps inside her dress she began to Cry and then to confess, to sins that would make a Sailor blush with shame. She told of gossip, and church Desention, but thing that got the most attention was when She told of her Love Life and then she Started naming names.
Well seven Deacons and then the Pastor got saved, and Twenty-five thousand dollars got raised, and fifty Volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot. And even without an invitation there were at least Five hundred rededications, and we all got Rebaptized whether we needed it or not. Now you've heard the Bible stories I guess of how he parted The waters for Moses to pass. Oh the Miracles, God has Wraught in this old world. But the one I'll remember till my Dying day is when He put that church back on the narrow way With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel.