Adam SandlerDee Wee (My Friend The Massive Idiot)

He said he'd be here at seven The clock just hit 7: 22 It's too cold outside To wait for my ride Watching mama try out a new doo (Bruins) He said he'd be here at seven But it just hit 7: 35 (already?) Here in Brockton, Mass., I got my thumb in my a** Mama's combing up a big beehive (Celtics) Where the f**k is he? Where the f**k is he? The b***h doesn't even bother calling Even though it's 7: 44 (I fell asleep, pally) I'm feeling kinda antsy Mama's getting fancy Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox) He said he'd be here at seven It's closing in on 8: 01 (Trimmin' the 'stache, kid) Me lookin' like a sap In a wool knit cap Mama's next move is a bun (fuckin' Patriots) Where the f**k is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude) Where the f**k is he? (I couldn't find my fuckin' snowboots, pal) I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover) Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive) That stupid little punk He's probably fuckin' drunk I bet he drank a case Wanna pop him in the face right now Mama's eyebrow Wicked good Wicked good (Oh, god) Wicked good Wicked good (f**k yeah) Wicked good Wicked good (Pisser?) Well my friend is still a no-show And I'm getting' f*****g pissed (Why?) 'Cause I could've gone with Charlie In the side of his Harley Mama's on the phone with a stylist (f**k Charlie!) So I guess I ain't going out tonight 'Cause the digits say 12: 09 (s**t-faced) But call the operator 'Cause one perm later Mama's hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!) Where the f**k is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin' me a wicked funny Joke!) Where the f**k is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though...) I wish I had a car I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy) I wish I went with Charlie (5. 2 blood level, state record) I could have gone with Charlie (I'm in a wicked mess of trouble, haha!) He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He gotta dee wee He got a D. W. I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])
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