If you didn' t care what happened to me, And I didn' t care for you We would zig zag our way through boredom and pain Occasionally glancing up through the rain Wondering which of the buggers to blame And watching for pigs on the wing.
Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air You better watch out There may be dogs about I' ve looked over Jordan and I have seen Things are not what they seem
What do you get for pretending the danger' s not real Meek and obedient you follow the leader Down well trodden corridors, into the valley of steel What a surprise! A look of terminal shock in your eyes Now things are really what they seem No, this is no bad dream
The lord is my shepherd. I shall not want He makes me down to lie Through pastures green he leadeth me the silent waters by With bright knives he releases my soul He maketh me to hang on hooks in high places He converteth me to lamb cutlets For lo, he hath great power and great hunger When cometh the day we lowly ones Through quiet reflection, and great dedication, Master the art of karate Lo, we shall rise up, And then we' ll make the bugger' S eyes water.
Bleating and babbling I fell on his neck with a scream Wave upon wave of demented avengers March cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream
Have you heard the news? The dogs are dead! You better stay home and do as you' re told Get out of the road if you want to grow old.
Pigs (Three different ones)
Big man, pig man, ha ha charade you are You well heeled big wheel, ha ha charade you are And when your hand is on your heart You' re nearly a good laugh Almost a joker With your head down in the pig bin Saying, " Keep on digging" Pig stain on your fat chin What do you hope to find? When you' re down in the pig mine You' re nearly a laugh, You' re nearly a laugh, But you' re really a cry.
Bus stop rat bag, ha ha charade you are You fucked up old hag, ha ha charade you are You radiate cold shafts of broken glass You' re nearly a good laugh Almost worth a quick grin You like the feel of steel You' re hot stuff with a hat pin And good fun with a hand gun You' re nearly a laugh, You' re nearly a laugh, But you' re really a cry.
Hey you, Whitehouse, Ha ha charade you are You house proud town mouse Ha ha charade you are You' re trying to keep your feelings off the street You' re nearly a real treat All bright lips and cold feet And do you feel abused? Ff....! Ff....! Ff....! Fuck You gotta stem the evil tide And keep it all on the inside Mary you' re really a treat Mary you' re really a treat But you' re really a cry.
Pigs on the Wing (Part Two)
You know that I care what happens to you And I know that you care for me So I don' t feel alone Or the weight of the stone Now that I' ve found somewhere safe To bury my bone And any fool knows a dog needs a home A shelter from pigs on the wing