Kitty Malone sat on a mule Was riding in style When suddenly, like the sound of a buzzard's breaking Kity felt laser beams being fired at her head She said, "I hate laser beams And you never done see me askin' For a UFO In Tomahawk County"
Well she kicked the mule And it walked the path And the aliens fired from behind Till she stopped the mule And she kicked the rump And the big old mule took a big old dump
Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go Take your laser beams away Scent of a mule, you better watch out where you go You better stop that laser game Or you'll smell my mule
She felt the fire against her neck And it saddened her to feel it burn When suddenly, like the sound of a breeding Holstein Kitty said, "Stop, we ain't lookin' for fightin' In Tomahawk County."
A little guy from the UFO Came on out and said his name was Joe She said, "Come on over for some lemonade Just follow me now with the whole brigade"
They walked into her cabin shack They had never seen a southern home And they liked it, better than their UFO They liked it, they really liked it They said, "Here's a place of elegance Here we shower ourselves in lightness"