We already played that We're going to lighten it up a bit We're going to lighten it up a bit This really isn't a stupid song This is a special song This is an important song This is a dance song This is.. THIS IS RED ROCKS... THIS IS THE EDGE!!! No really this is a song about... We want to get serious now that we have your attention We want to talk about.. We want to talk about an important man (Diarrhea!-Mike) Who could have an important effect On everybody in this room's lives If they were willing to take the chance To let this person into their hearts and their views Because this is a special man (Background OOOH's and AHH's begin here) And this man wrote a great book For this is the author of the Helping Friendly Book The book that could change your life, The way it changed ours And I hope that someday That you, you people will all have the chance To read the Helping Friendly Book And experience the wisdom Of the great and knowledgeable Man who wrote the Helping Friendly Book Because he is, the great and knowledgeable He is the one, the only Author of the Helping Friendly Book HE is, the man, The great man, The onlythe special His name is... The Author of the Helping Friendly Book He is the great, The knowledgeableThe one, the only The great and knowledgeable Person who wrote the Helping Friendly Book His name could only be The one, the only The only, the special, the Author of the Helping Friendly Book HE WROTE THE FUCKING BOOK OK! HE WROTE THE BOOK His name..WAS..ICCULUS!!!!! Written by the great and knowledgeable Icculus Ya! Our children are old enough To read ICCULUS (or Ridicule us) A cold and lonely night Running the pace of her fright Look at her face tonight!