When "Me and My Girl" originally opened in February 1986, it had the Song "If Only You'd Cared For Me" at the end after "Leaning On A Lamppost". However, by the time that it had opened up on Broadway As well, the song had been cut and a new one ("Hold My Hand") added. Noel gay had a vast collection of songs and when putting the revival Together they shoved in some Noel gay songs to pad it out.
We were so much together, in the days that used to be. When both of us were young and fairly fancy free.
I fancied in the marriage stakes, I knew a certainty. That I'd be Mister You, and you be Misses Me!
Since you and I first met, my dear A lot of time has flown. It might have flown so differently, If we had only known. To me you used to be the only onion in the stew. But you could never care me, The way that I cared for you.
You were a gay lethario. You nearly turned my head I'd say today, a lot of guilt's Worn off the gingerbread But one among the crowd is what I never cared to be So I could never care for you, The way that you cared for me.
Oh! To think what might have been, Oh! The things we might have seen.
You've seen plenty, I guess.
Ha! And so have you!
Well more or less. Here we are today condemned to lead a lonely life
Squabbling as we do, we might as well be man and wife.
We're not so young, but not too old. To make one up to two.
If only you could care for me, as much as I cared for you.
We mightn't care for married life, Perhaps we're not that sort. We're getting old and crusty.
Makes me think of vintage port. I wouldn't mind decanting one, and even one for you. If only you could care for one.... As much as I'd care for two!
I rather think a glass of port is maybe not for me.
Relax my dear, and have a glass, It's much more fun than tea.
I've never risked a glass of port since nineteen-twenty-two. It doesn't seem to care for me, as much as it cares for you.
Ha! A drink would put you right!
Ha! Ha! Do you really think it might?
Best thing under the sun.
Oh! Very well, but only one. Seek the butler's pantry and purloin the cellar key.
Then we'll pour one down the hatch, And maybe two or three!
We'll drink a toast to all the things, We've had no chance to do. Because you never cared for me, As much as I cared.... For you!