Chorus:
Down in Southern California
There's a guru that is guruing there
He's got 250 followers
They're following him everywhere

He's got all of the answers to all of the questions
And he promises to make us free
He's got all the solutions to all of the problems
That are plaguing our society
All the followers they love to follow their Guru
Everything else is a hoax
They kiss his lotus feet,
You know they make up his bed
You know they're laughing at all of his jokes
He protects his people from the outside world
His people need never be afraid
Cause if you're his disciple and he happens to like ya
I can tell you, that you've got it made

Well if you're not part of this special,
Selective, exclusive, elite family
You're considered a heathen, and a sap, and a sucker
Devoid of spirituality
They try to sell you some incense or some organic cookies
Or some literature to show you the way
Yeah they're proselytising and it's mesmerizing
And they're making moolah everyday

[Chorus:]
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Guru Lyrics

Loudon Wainwright III – Guru Lyrics