Hey yo, man
Ain't nothin' like a nice bowl of cornflakes in the morning
To smooth you out
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who's the baddest female of them all?
It was Frosted Flake, she loved to bowl
And although her skin was white she had a lot of soul
Rich female, very debonair
Drivin' a Rolls with rollers in her hair
We was hangin out, pumpin' the stereo
She took me to a club, I think the name was Cheerio's
She walked like she was jumpin' a hurdle
I was happy as a kid that just saw Mutant Ninja Turtles
A guy walked over, said, "Your earring's cute."
I said, "I'm wearin' a earring, but it ain't no Fruit Loop."
Me and Frosted went to get a drink
But she ordered somethin' bugged, and I ain't know what to think
She ordered potassium, calcium
Carbohydrate scotch with sodium
She took me to her crib, threw me on the couch
I woke up the next morning with a spoon in my mouth
I went to Vegas, didn't think it'd do any harm
I walked into this girl named Lucky Charm
For some reason, we walked in the rain
She had a four-leaf clover with a big gold chain
She had a salary that was full of calories, for real
And I was in the mood for a home cooked meal
So we went to be alone
But we had to be quiet, 'cause her corn pops was home
Kissed her neck, kissed her back, kissed her arms
I said "Forget it, let me see your lucky charms."
When we began, her hairstyle was neat
But when I left the next morning it looked like shredded wheat
Talked about marriage, I said "That's risky
Besides, it's such a waste of Rice Crispies"
She had a robe with the velour material
Her pops woke up, I said "Hello Mr. Cereal
I came this morning to deliver the paper."
He said "Stop frontin', I know you caught the vapors
That's my daughter, so save your croonin'
You better find another bowl of cereal to stick your spoon in."
Yeah, check this out here
Then there was Pebbles, times was rough
She was turnin' tricks to get her "coo-coo puff!"
Her mind was gone, but she turned me on, in fact
She was wearin' an Apple Jack hat
With a full-link fox and some pink bobby-socks
Her father had a greedy disease, fried chicken pocks
We called him Hungry Jack
He talked like pops, and then he dressed like The Mack
He invited me out to lunch
With a old army buddy of his, Captain Crunch
The waiter said, "Jack, what would you like today?"
He said "I don't know, just make it Special, 'K?"
He said "Cool," came back with the order
That's when I said, "Hey yo, Jack, I like your daughter."
He said "Pebbles? Boy, are your crazy?"
I said "Nah, I want to ride in a Mercedes
She could sing while I'm swingin' my thing
'Cause her burgers taste better than Burger King."
He said "Go party, do some minglin'
You and my daughter, your brain must be jinglin'"
I said "It's smooth, no disrespect
She'll sign a pre-nup, so she don't get half of my week cheque."
Then we walked down the aisle
Our honeymoon was milky cereal style
You know what I'm sayin'?