(Teacher) "J, do you have a Halloween story for the class?" (Violent J) "why-why-yeah, um, there was this boy, and he lived in his house, and he went to bed one day, and then when he woke up, um, when he woke up, he was buried up to his head in the dirt, and he couldn't move, and this man came walking along, but instead of the man helping him out, the man just started kicking him and kicking him in his face, over and over, and then he got the lawnmower, and then he....." Dick or treat, bon appetit All the little kiddies running down my street Gathering candy treats door to door But they walk past mine, what for? Probably 'cause the pumpkins on my porch are real Real human heads carved out with steel Cut out the eyes, man, it takes but a minute Rip out the be -be -be -be -brains and put a candle in it Maybe they run 'cause I take 'em inside Come and meet Mother, two years ago she died Little boys laugh, 'cause they think it's just a dummy But then the smell hits 'em, MMMMM..... smells yummy Open your bags and I'll give you my treat Crusty yellow toes off a dead woman's feet Take me by the hand, and I'll lead you downstairs And that, little chickies, is where you'll spend the next seven years Starving and weakening, chained to a wall Staring at a roach, hoping it will crawl Into your mouth for a tasty cuisine Yes, my little friends, it's a Dead Pumpkins Halloween (Shaggy 2 Dope) "Awwwwwwwwww, yeah, it's that special time of year, boys and girls, so come to the pumpkin patch and bring your pantysacks so I can shit in it, you beeeeeyitch!!!!!" (Violent J) Well, I love all the kiddies, but I can't fuck around Don't come to my door dressed as a clown 'cause you never know, I might take it the wrong way 'cause I'm the real wicked juggalokaro Violent J All year 'round, but I love my Halloween You'll never get an apple or a purple jelly bean Dropping some chocolates, a licorice snack Instead you get a deep-fried French poodle nutsack Peeking out my door, I see no children in sight Perhaps they're all dead, yesterday was Devil's Night They burn down the city and they leave it crispy-charred I light myself on fire and I dance around my backyard Hungry bellies, I can see where you're at Sitting on my window, I can turn into a bat Watching you remove all your little clothesies for bed I crash through the window and land on your head Drinking the blood, blood is gone to the bone But now, I must leave, Mother's calling me home Up to the moonlight, I'm gone from the scene Peace to Detroit City and have a Dead Pumpkins Halloween (Shaggy 2 Dope) "Yeeeeeeeeah, I'm gonna smash your little candy bags, only I'm gonna tie 'em around your muthafuckin' necks and choke you with 'em Wicked Clown style, muthafucka!!!!!" (Violent J) "Detroit's in this bitch!!!!!"