It's a terrible statement, but I never let it leave my side
That sickening realization I'm done with this fight
Moments kneeling on the bedroom floor
Sickened by what entity I had absorbed, no more
I would not let this self-scrutinizing endeavor endure
A precipice, a monologue questioning my every motive
Disaster-stricken heart feeling broken
My emotions misquoted and spilling out of a broken vase
Taking the place of what was once your emotion
Diluted with tears, and an open book
Scribbled with fears, engraved pools of ink, I'm vocally shook
And I'm tired of telling myself that it's gonna change
Taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end
Falsehoods predicted by sinners dictated my every decision
An exit of sorts seemed logical
'Cause I thought I could silence this breath
But contrary to my mindset
I circumvented my threats to silence the demons
Singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear
That ending it all is a safe bet
Comforting me as I tried to manipulate my end
Those moments when I decided I couldn't handle this anymore
Pins and needles infecting every sensation left
Feeling like this love I once found
Had been torn open and left broken in the cold
And the seams holding it together ripped open
And then my flesh tore open with that is
I pray that my breath would stop
And as I held those staining memories, I held on so tightly;
Remembering what life used to mean
Selfishly ready to embrace the fact that I'm weak!
But then I called to you
And I hoped someone would find me
And I found you
And I hoped someone would call me
'Cause I'm listening to these echoes of my own voice
Leaving damage in the cold
As I feel like I've finally grown to the point where I can snap
The point of knowing I could never go back
And it's in the moments I felt most alone
That I told myself no one was there for me
When little did I know, love was sitting right beside me
I just wasn't listening
And at this point in my life, I don't know very many things
But I can promise you this: You are loved completely