Well, I'm a real life cowboy
Just a quiet, humble fella
That's what we're like
Apart from Mike
Yeah, I'm more of a yeller!

Sing songs to pass the evenings
And because it soothes the herd
So they won't stampede
Unless Mike sings lead
And shouts every single word!

(Mike!)

(Sorry!)

'Cause we're cowboys
Real-life cowboys
Not like the ones you see on your tv
We've never held up banks at all
We're poorly paid
And kinda small
If you still wanna be a cowboy
Stick with me!

On your horse for eighteen hours
And that saddle sore's a curse
Then you feed your horse
And yourself, of course
Though beans just make it worse!

Then you're back driving cattle
That's what being a cowboy means
Moving those beasts from west to east
Sorry, it's the beans!

'Cause we're cowboys
Real-life cowboys
Not like the ones you've seen in the movies
We're not big hunks like that John Wayne
'Cause our horses would complain
If you still wanna be a cowboy
Join us please!

You should be aware
We have some customs that are strange
Like saying 'Howdy! ' not 'Hello'
When you're out here on the range

Never touch a cowboy's hat
Never ride his horse
So what would happen if I took your old mare?
Well, I'd shoot you, of course!

(Fair enough!)

Cowboys,
Real-life cowboys
Not like the ones you see on silver screens
We didn't go out starting fights
'Cause unions fought for our rights
Now Mike will do a solo thanks to beans!

(How was that?)

(It stunk!)

And now my friend, I fear
That the end is drawing near
'Cause we only ruled the range for twenty years!
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The Cowboy Song Lyrics