Well, I'm a real life cowboy Just a quiet, humble fella That's what we're like Apart from Mike Yeah, I'm more of a yeller!
Sing songs to pass the evenings And because it soothes the herd So they won't stampede Unless Mike sings lead And shouts every single word!
'Cause we're cowboys Real-life cowboys Not like the ones you see on your tv We've never held up banks at all We're poorly paid And kinda small If you still wanna be a cowboy Stick with me!
On your horse for eighteen hours And that saddle sore's a curse Then you feed your horse And yourself, of course Though beans just make it worse!
Then you're back driving cattle That's what being a cowboy means Moving those beasts from west to east Sorry, it's the beans!
'Cause we're cowboys Real-life cowboys Not like the ones you've seen in the movies We're not big hunks like that John Wayne 'Cause our horses would complain If you still wanna be a cowboy Join us please!
You should be aware We have some customs that are strange Like saying 'Howdy! ' not 'Hello' When you're out here on the range
Never touch a cowboy's hat Never ride his horse So what would happen if I took your old mare? Well, I'd shoot you, of course!
Cowboys, Real-life cowboys Not like the ones you see on silver screens We didn't go out starting fights 'Cause unions fought for our rights Now Mike will do a solo thanks to beans!
(How was that?)
And now my friend, I fear That the end is drawing near 'Cause we only ruled the range for twenty years!