[Hook:] I was just thinking that I really like you And I was just thinking I really like you And I was just thinking if I kidnap your boyfriend Could I be your boyfriend?
[Verse 1:] I've gotta time it right I've gotta plan it through You're a stick of dynamite Hope that I can handle you You're a whole new animal they couldn't hold a candle to So I demand a candid answer, what's a man to do? Could pay a camera crew Get an editor set up in his kitchen with the video and kid and put his ass On Catch A Predator Call his creditor Tell em he's in heavy debt and with fed on red alert I plant a care package, a bear trap with the teeth padded And when he grabs it, then I beat it like Br'er Rabbit Or I could lock him in the liquor cabinet Drinking, thinking, sad until he kicks the habit And if he gets lovey dovey I'll take a kindergarten keep him in the cubby When we leave for winter break and someone gets the pet I'm gonna pawn him Off on little Betty like he was a guppy
[Verse 2:] It's a minute to midnight and That's my cue to pull up in my big white van Beckon him with my charisma Chucking snickers at him like it's his Bar mitzvah And if someone heard that racket Better bet I'm gonna bag him in a burlap sack Your dude's whack He lacks the X Factor
(Bookmark boy) I can be the next chapter What do I do for the women who tell me they want me? That when I got over the one who steadily haunts me If I get over the one Then I'll be ready to party Then I'll be looking at Blondie On me get up and calmly walk away It's pretty pathetic I get it, but not today You wanted to play You want me to act tough? Spend every dime But I won't go bankrupt I said to be easy Could you please back up All these Jenga beezies they just don't stack up
[Verse 3:] If time's a blunt, I can pass it But if too blunt, I can mask it I'd rather pass with to the passenger Shotgun the messenger Call off the massacre Your dude is cool I wish I didn't have to mess with him To tell the truth I want the very second best for him I'm positive I'm not pessimist I'm not jumping I'm just pissing off the precipice If I deafen to the definition and I never getcha God I betcha I'll be better cause I metcha but be I'm missing always Waiting for day you'll be available You keep on stating who you're dating ain't debatable But baby, maybe we could pick up when this shit ends My sixth sense says we're clicking like we're Bic pens I don't wanna read the writing on the wall if it's only gonna end like Annie Hall