There's the Reds and there's the Greens Super slicks and has beens, They're accompanied by three men dressed in black, One's a whistle, two are flags, and quite often they're the drags Kick the ball into the goal, they put it back.
Yes Match of the Day's The only way, to spend your Saturday
Each side's eleven men, with numbers on their backs But at a distance they all tend to look the same But some own their boutiques, well they clean up every week Inciting riots, causing chaos, such a shame!
But Match of the Day's The only way We spend our Saturday
And that's not all, our mates the keepers Slippin' and sliding in the mud Arms as long as creepers
Send him off Ref' ***!!++?? Where are your specs Ref' +++***!!! Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**?? Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X*+X*!!?
There's a few things before we go That I think you ought to know Obstruction, Body Checking, heavy tackles So put on your hat and scarf Have a drink, have a larf' From the terrace you can see your men do battle
Yes Match of the Day's The only way You can spend your Saturday
Don't forget, the trainers with their sponges Managers with open cheques, liquid business lunches
Send 'im off Ref' ***!!++?? Where are your specs Ref' !***&&&!!! Kick you to death Ref' !!XX**?? Oi! Are you deaf Ref' X&+X&+!!?
...Phfff! Good game 'ey, Ron?... ...D'you see that goal in the Second Half? oh!... ...Bit of a dirty tackle that, mate!... ...I reckon I should've had a bet on it myself!... ...We paid 400, 000 pound for him, you realise that?... ...Oh - look out, here comes a bottle ... ...Yes, fancy a pint then? My round...