[includes quotes from God Bless America (Irving Berlin), America The Beautiful (Ward/Bates), Marine's Hymn (trad.) and A Soldier's Tale (Stravinsky)]

A lot of people don't bother about their friends in the vegetable kingdom. They think, "Ah, what can I say? What can a person like myself say to a vegetable?" But the answer is simple, my friends. .. Just call. .. And tell them how you feel. .. About muffins, pumpkins, wax paper, caledonia, mahoganies, elbows and green things in general. .. And soon: A new rapport! You and your new little green & yellow buddies. .. Grooving together! Oh no! Maintaining your coolness together! Worshipping together in the church of your choice! Only in america! Woh-oh-oh-ah-agh-h. ..

Call any vegetable
Call it by name
You gotta call one today
When you get off the train
Call any vegetable
And the chances are good
Ar-are-H-are that the vegetable
Will respond to you...
Oh no! Can you see them responding?
The pumpkin is breathing hard:

Huffa puffa huffa puffa etc.
What a pumpkin. ..
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Soft-sell Conclusion Lyrics

Frank Zappa – Soft-sell Conclusion Lyrics