Once that you've decided on a killing

First you make a stone of your heart

And if you find that your hands are still willing

Then you can turn a murder into art


There really isn't any need for bloodshed

You just do it with a little more finesse

If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee

Then it avoids an awful lot of mess


It's murder by numbers one two three

It's as easy to learn as your ABC

Murder by numbers, one, two, three

It's as easy to learn as your ABC


Now if you have a taste for this experience

And you're flushed with your very first success

Then you must try a twosome or a threesome

And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less


Because murder is like anything you take to

It's a habit-forming need for more and more

You can bump off every member of your family

And anybody else you find a bore


Because it's murder by numbers, one, two, three

It's as easy to learn as your ABC

Murder by numbers, one, two, three

It's as easy to learn as your ABC


Now you can join the ranks of the illustrious

In history's great dark hall of fame

All our greatest killers were industrious

At least the ones that we all know by name


But you can reach the top of your profession

If you become the leader of the land

For murder is the sport of the elected

And you don't need to lift a finger of your hand


Because it's murder by numbers, one, two, three

It's as easy to learn as your ABC

Murder by numbers, one, two, three

It's as easy to learn as your A, be , see, D, E

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Murder By Numbers Lyrics