1993, shortly before Thanksgiving
I got the call, she said Jamal Derek is not longer living
Softly she spoke, is this a joke? Man you gotta be kidding
As my question was raised this explanation was given
A meaningless death made me question the meaning of life
Does my body remain at rest like when I'm sleeping at night?
Will I burn in eternal hell or will I find paradise?
Be rejected or resurrected like the body of Christ?
Is it like purgatory, the story described by the Catholics?
Or Nirvana that Buddhists honor in both theory and practice?
Like I study in my college philosophy classes
Or do my molecules and atoms travel back to the gases?
I mean, what I like to know, is where my spirit goes?
After the curtains close, on my final show?
Is there a pain it brings? Enjoy my favorite things?
Visit ancient kings? Hear the angels sing?
Who'll answer these said the great MCs
My man Gribbles battling a debilitating disease
He said you see a brother like me is willing to fight
And everytime I question death my only answer is life
One life, yeah
And my God will set me free
Am I living in this moment
Am I living righteously
It gets hard
But I know I got to keep on
I'm trying so hard to be strong
Paralyzed on the bathroom floor by pain
Last month I endured, but now I can't ignore
Feels like railroad spikes being stuck in my liver
Am I dying? Eyes crying, body starting to shiver
Crawl upstairs from the basement calling my sister
(Sniff) Dawn help me, I ain't feeling too healthy
Stomach walls burning, head spinning and turning
Waiting for the EMS; 3:10 in the morning
Rush me to the emergency screaming like a newborn
The pain's too strong maybe my soul's trying to move on
They hook me to the I.V., put me through some X-Rays
Gave me Demerol to kill the pain that was the next phase
Early the next day in the hospital room
Moms and pops in the room, three or four docs in the room
Test results suggest your colon and your liver
Is so cancerous you got three months left
Me and Death is playing chess ever since then
My strength is the most high, my fam and close friends
The Last Emp and Set Free blessed me with a verse
Staying healthy comes first
Look at me things could be worst