Paddy McGinty an Irishman of note
Fell into a fortune and bought himself a goat
Said he, now on goat's milk it's time to have my fill
And when he brought the nanny home he found it was a Bill.
Now all of the ladies who live in Telilew
Are all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do
They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat
And leave the rest to providence and Paddy McGinty's Goat.
Young Nora McCarthy the knot was going to tie
Washed all her bloomers and hung them out to dry
Along came the Goat and he saw the bits of white
And chewed up all the patterns upon the wedding night
Turn out the lights quick she shouted out to Pat
Although I'm your wife I'm not worth looking at
I had two of everything I told you when I wrote
But now I'm wearing nothing left for Paddy McGinty's Goat
Off the West coast of Ireland one morning there was seen
As plain as any pipes on a German submarine
The Coastguard Mahoney fell over in a fit
And now said Paddy McGinty's Goat it's time for me to do my bit
He jumped into the water as frisky as a whale
Swam around the U-boat waggin' his little tail
He upped with his horns and he stuck them in the boat
And sent the Hun to Heligoland did Paddy McGinty's Goat
Now old Mickey Reilly at the races yesterday
Won a twenty pound note and shouted hip hooray
He held out the note saying look at what I've got
when along came Paddy McGinty's goat and swallowed all the lot
He's eaten up me bank note cried Mickey with a jump
They called for the doctor to get the stomach pump
They pumped and they pumped for that twenty pound note
But all they got was sixpence out of Paddy McGinty's goat
Now this old goat of Pat's had a wondrous appetite
One morning for breakfast he ate some dynamite
A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene
And then he goes and swallows up a quart of kerosene
He sat by the fireside, didn't give a hang
He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang
So if ever you go to heaven you can bet your bottom note
That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat
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