I love a little Tanqueray, with an olive, not a twist, And just a hint of dry vermouth, sprayed on like Irish mist. I'll have one in the morning just to make my day go well, And two more in the evening, so I can give it hell. 'Cause I'm a M..M..M..Martini Man, I'll have me one or two when I can, I've had fifty years of life, got two boys and a lovely wife, I'm a dyed in the wool, Martini Man.
I came to these green pastures when I was but a lad, An African who loved his beer, a little, just a tad, But you know those BMO bankers, Martini-swilling wankers, 'Twasn't long before I was a bar-room grad.
Now I'm a M..M..M..Martini Man, I'll take them baby, any way I can, I've had fifty years of life, two big sons and a little wife, I'm a larger than life, Martini Man.
But Oh my God that banking, it was a dreadful bore, So I started selling houses, a realtor to the core. And with every sale I made, I'd take me off into the shade, And have another dry one, that's the law!!
'Cause I'm a M..M..M..Martini Man, Don't knock me, cause that's just the way I am. I've had fifty years of life, got two sons and a lovely wife, I'm an obstinate, intemperate, obdurate, inveterate, One is not enough, MARTINI MAN!!