Well, I took me a woman late last night I's three-fourths drunk she looked all right 'Til she started peelin' off her onion gook She took off her wig, said, "How do I look" ? I's high flyin', bare naked ...Out the window.
Well, sometimes I might get drunk Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk Don't hurt me none, don't hurt my pride 'Cause I got my little lady right by my side (She's a tryin' a hide pretendin' She don't know me).
I's out there paintin' on the old wood shed When a can a black paint it fell on my head I went down to scrub and rub But I had to sit in back of the tub (Cost a quarter Half price).
Well, my telephone rang it would not stop It's President Kennedy callin' me up He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow" ? I said, "My friend, John, "Brigitte Bardot, Anita Ekberg Sophia Loren" Country'll grow.
Well, I got a woman five feet short She yells and hollers and squeals and snorts She tickles my nose pats me on the head Blows me over and kicks me out of bed (She's a man eater Meat grinder Bad looser).
Oh, there ain't no use in me workin' alla time I got a woman who works herself blind Works up to her britches, up to her neck Write me letters and sends me checks (She's a humdinger Folk singer).
Late one day in the middle of the week Eyes were closed I was half asleep I chased me a woman up the hill Right in the middle of an air drill (I jumped a fallout shelter I jumped the string bean I jumped the TV dinner I jumped the shot gun).
Now, the man on the stand he wants my vote He's a-runnin' for office on the ballot note He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple Tellin' me he loves all kinds-a people (He's eatin' bagels He's eatin' pizza He's eatin' chitlins).
Oh, set me down on a television floor I'll flip the channel to number four Out of the shower comes a football man With a bottle of oil in his hand (Greasy kid stuff What I want to know, Mr. Football Man, is What do you do about Willy Mays Martin Luther King Olatunji).
Well, the funniest woman I ever seen Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean She takes about fifteen baths a day Wants me to grow a moustache on my face (She's insane).
Well, ask me why I'm drunk alla time It levels my head and eases my mind I just walk along and stroll and sing I see better days and I do better things (I catch dinosaurs I make love to Elizabeth Taylor ... Catch hell from Richard Burton !).