My dog's stomach was very upset, so I put him in the car and we went to the vet
And on our way to the vet, I killed a cat.
And I said, isn't that ironic?

I adopted a child from overseas to rescue it from child labor factories.
And On his very first birthday we went to build a bear workshop
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C a water park has burned to the ground and tow truck has broken down. I always use to cry when I laugh,
But then I was raped by a clown.Isn't this ironic?

I was watching Al Gore on CNN,
He was talking, and talking, and talking,
And then out of boredom my pet polar bear shot himself. Isn't that ironic?

I dated an animal rights activist and one day she got really pissed
I was eating veal that was wrapped in PETA bread.
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch
And I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull out couch.
Isn't that I-R-O-N-I-C-I-N-O-R-I-R-O-N-I-C
Yeah if everyday you played the board game Risk, you'd probably never taken a risk in your life
And Monopoly has far from a strangle hold in the board game market.
A little kid died from suffocation when he choked on a game piece from operation
And I can't grow a beard, that one's not Ironic, that one's just sad.

Bob Barker got all of my pets pregnant.

My grandpa had Alzheimer's and one day we were
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Ironic Lyrics