Oh Maria, I'm so sorry I wrecked your wedding; You've just got to believe me. But just the thought of you takin' your clothes off For that jerk... Oh, it got me drinkin', and then suddenly I'm Staggerin' into church, And I'm dancin' like Baryshnikov all across the high altar. Oh, I bet that you're still mortified, But just think, girl, No one's ever gonna be forgettin' The day I wrecked your wedding.
Oh Maria, I'd get down on my knees, girl; You've just gotta believe me, But just the sight of you standin' there in your Brand new wedding dress... Oh, it got me so upset and then your father's screamin': "You no good, lousy, punk! I always knew you were a drunk!" And your mother, she's havin' her Nineteenth nervous breakdown. But just think, girl; No one's ever gonna be forgettin' The day I wrecked your wedding.
Oh Maria, I'd do anything you asked me to; I swear I'll change. I'll even give up drinkin', hangin' out with the boys, 'Cause I just can't live without your body and you. Oh Maria, I'll even sell my strat, give up the band. You better believe me, girl; this time it's true. Oh Maria, I'll even go out and get a job for you.
Oh Maria, I'm so sorry I wrecked your wedding; You just got to believe me. But ten years from now this is goin' to be One big happy memory. Oh, your old man; he's even gonna grow to love me. I'll give him six grandchildren. I'll be so respectable. I might even run for president. I will be so electable. I'll keep you happy, and Expectable, and forever pregnant; That way you'll never be forgettin' The day I wrecked your wedding.