Live at Five and CNN Keep us all abreast Of breaking stories that can tend To make us anxious and depressed. Problems with no answers Hang on like some chronic cough. And every day some brand new issue Rears it's head to piss you off.
Bad guys win. Optimism's wearing thin. Things are spinning out of control. Cynicism's all the fad. World events could make us mad As hatters. Almost every day Some underpinning slips away. These aren't laughing matters.
Time bombs tick. People keep on getting sick. And a nickel's not worth a cent. Wickedness and greed abound. Just as peace is gaining ground It shatters. Hate is here to stay, And justice goes to those who pay. Friend, these aren't laughing matters.
The truth is scarier by far Than anything that Stephen King could write. The stories in the paper are The daily small decline and fall Spelled out in black and white.
Oh, what to do, what to do? How to take a brighter view When your noodle's totally fried. Human spirits need to be Leavened by a little levity. So take those blues And bounce them off the wall. Keep your humor please, 'cause don't you know it times like these that Laughing matters most of all.