Well i thought about the army Dad said, son you're fucking high And i thought, yeah there's a first for everything So i took my old man's advice Three sad semesters It was only 15 grand spent in bed I thought about the army I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a moustache and a mullet Got a job at chick-fil-a Citing artistic differences The band broke up in may And in june reformed without me And they'd got a different name I nuked another grandma's apple pie And hung my head in shame
Been thinking a lot today Been thinking a lot today
Oh, i think i'll write a screenplay Oh, i think i'll take it to la Oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday
In this time of introspection On the eve of my election I say to my reflection God please spare me more rejection 'cause my peers they criticize me And my ex-wives all despise me Try to put it all behind me But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I thought about the army...