We got a dog called Phony Tony
He's not real clever he's a one trick pony
When the dog whistle blows you'll hear him barking at the gate
"My only agenda's abuse lies and hate"
He's got nothing to say but he's always in the news
There's just one cure for the Phony Tony blues
Our one eyed attack dog old Phony Tony
He's like his lies all skin and bony
For his rabid pack of clowns there aint nothing he won't say
"Better get it in writing if you want to trust me"
With God's forgiveness he's got nothing to lose
There's only one cure for the Phony Tony Blues
He's not too brave our Phony Tony
He never picks on no one if he's all aloney
He loves to beat up women the weak the sick the poor
When rich aunty Gina calls he simpers like a whore
Laps up Uncle Rupert's vomit and then he begs for more
There's only one cure for the Phony Tony Blues
He pisses on reason our Phony Tony
While the weatherman's on he's howling at the moony
Sniffin' other dog's suppositories 'n lickin his own balls
Truth rings the doorbell n he cringes down the hall
From the stink of mange it seems he's heading for a fall
You know there's just one cure for the Phony Tony Blues