Here at Horace Green our name has come to mean pure excellence in every sense.
Which we commandeer for quite a lofty yearly fee.
When they write those checks each parent here expects their child to earn a high return.
And because they do the pressure's on for you and me.
Here at Horace Green, we rule the rankings, lead the funding, test right off the chart.
Greatness is routine, the board demands it, or we will both be ripped apart.
At our hallowed school, the children as a rule learn discipline. We drill it in.
With as you might guess, the fear of doing less than well.
While they're in our care, we tenderly prepare them to compete with the elite.
Till they are dispersed to Harvard, or at worst, Cornell.
Here at Horace Green, we take top honors, crush our rivals, wear the prep school crown.
There's no in between, we get results here or the alums will hunt us down.
Here at Horace Green, we stick to custom, keep on schedule, do what must be done.
Don't and it will mean I go ballistic.
Right, then that's all. Good luck. Have fun.