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Bobby: Well, to begin with, I come from this quasi-middle-upper or upper-middle class, family-type-home. I could never figure out which but it was real boring. I mean, we had money - but no taste. You know the kind of house - Astroturf on the patio? Anyway my mother had a lot of card parties and was one of the foremost bridge cheaters in America. My father worked for this big corporation. They used to send him out into the field a lot - to drink. Better that than to find him lying on his office floor... But he was okay... I was the strange one. Zach: How strange? Bobby: Real, real strange. I used to love to give garage recitals. Bizarre recitals. This one time I was doing Frankenstein as a musicale and I spray-painted this kid silver - all over. They had to rush him to the hospital. 'Cause he had that thing when your pores can't breathe... He lived 'cause luckily I didn't paint the soles of his feet. And... (He goes into pantomime) Richie: And... What if I'm next? What if I'm next? What am I gonna do? I haven't got a clue. I gotta think of something. What does he want? What does he want? Stories from the past. I better find one fast. Maggie, Greg, Bebe, Richie, Val, Paul What should I say? What can I tell him? Bobby: (Out of pantomime, spoken) As I got older I kept getting stranger and stranger, I to go down to this Busy intersection near my house rush hour and direct traffic. I just wanted To see if anybody'd notice me. That's when I started breaking people's houses -- oh, I didn't steal anything --just re-arrange their furniture. And... (He goes into pantomime) Val: And... Orphan at three, Orphan at three. Mother and dad both gone. Raised by a sweet ex-con. Tied up and d at seven. Seriously! Seriously! Nothing too! I'd better keep it clean Don, Connie, Sheila, Richie, Val, Diana: What should I say? What can I tell him? Bobby: (Out of pantomime, spoken) School? You wanna hear about school? I went to P. S... See, I was the kind of kid that was always getting slammed into lockers and stuff like that. Not only by students -- by the teachers too. Oh and I d sports, d sports. And sports were very big. I mean, it was jock city, but I didn't make one team. See I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue on it. And didn't my father have to be this big ex-football hero, he was so humiliated, he didn't know what to tell his friends. So he told 'em all I had polio. On father's day I'd to limp for him. (He demonstrates) And... (He goes into pantomime) Judy: And... God, I'm a wreck. God, I'm a wreck. I don't know where to start. I'm gonna fall apart. Where are my childhood memories? Who were the boys? What were my toys? Gone beyond recall! And why am I so tall! What should I say? Val, Richie, Maggie, Connie, Judy, Diana, Mike What can I tell him? Judy: And... Connie and Maggie: And... Richie And... Val and Diana: And... Bobby (Out of pantomime, spoken) And my mother kept saying: "If you don't stop setting your brother on fire, we're going to have to send you away." And I was always thinking up these spectacular ways how to. But then I realized -- to in Buffalo is redundant!
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