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Correct Sex Machine Eulogies Lyrics
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Artists: V
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Vital Organ Auction
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Correct Sex Machine Eulogies
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Lyrics:
Dear friends and dear family: We have gathered here today To celebrate the beauty of Rooney & Jolley, Two of humanity's finest human beings, Who were taken from us all By a terrible limousine accident As a bisexual who saw them both In the tux, the dress, and the buff, I know I will speak for everyone As I recall what made them truly great Rooney made the babes cry like Niagara, Sent them flying without taking Viagra More pork in his barrel than ConAgra So orgasmic it mattered little to me That he never remembered my name Even as my body recalled his stamina Jolley had organic Hollywood breasts, Those teeth as white, as bright, as Crest Two hips that kicked like George Best Bucked in bedrooms like Denver Broncos More black tea in her tank than Texaco Hon had a tongue that could summon tornados Sit down, sit down, sit down & Reflect on the sex machine eulogies Send folks off into Heaven the way That we measured them in mortality Rooney, Jolley Jolley, Rooney Rooney, Jolley The King and Queen of perfecting sexy Rooney, Jolley Jolley, Rooney Rooney, Jolley The King & Queen of God's Eternity If only Rooney would resurrect, So we could worship his ass If only Jolley would wake up, So we could adore her rack O our dear Barbecue Backside, (Why?!) O our dear Aphrodite Melons, (Why?!) We can't focus without you (Why?!) Sit down, sit down, sit down and Reflect on the sex machine eulogies Send folks off into Heaven the way (the way, the way, the way), That we measured them in mortality Let's celebrate this commemoration Of these two divine creations By honoring all the living who Stay foxy until their cremations Rooney epitomized the total individual Hairline paid out daily residuals Enough to house domesticated animals His winks hardened any nearby nipples Whenever he passed a wishing well, He never tinkled, or stole the nickels Hardly wrapped his assets with Wranglers Or lifted his shirt to flash that six pack Standard envy before hotties attacked Jolley exemplified such a special person Her glance made every loin burn Topped VH1's Top 100 Head Turns Infidel to all underwear religions Ensured that men knew they were Near a miracle of soy-milk skin Manis and pedis like Christmas lights She pilfered from select purses only Always told a party hostess goodnight Sit down, sit down, sit down and Reflect on the sex machine eulogies Send folks off into Heaven the way That we measured them in mortality Clutch their memory to your breast, The memory of their lasting beauty Rooney! Jolley! Rooney Jolley
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